North Bank Habitat, Roseburg, Oregon

We're not going this direction, are we?..

The narrative of this hike could easily start with the line “It was a cold and foggy morning as the hikers began their trek into the hills”. It could also end with the exact same line, with only a few word modifications: “It was a cold and foggy afternoon when the hikers ended their trek out of the hills”.  Yes, the “F” word would be the predominate word used throughout this hike. And no, it’s not the word you’re thinking of.  Nope. This time the word would be fog. Besides, Richard and I had 13 yr-old Maeghan tagging along, and I’m pretty sure our salty talk is not mother-approved by Ceresse, Maeghan’s mom.

  

Foggy and creepy... kinda like this hike

This shuttle-hike was with Friends of the Umpqua, with a pretty good turnout for the hiking club’s first hike of the year. Destination: The North Bank Habitat Management Area. Two lines were formed at the trailhead. After some quick decision making, Maeghan and I decided to go the longer route with Richard and the endurance hikers, while her mom went with the 5-mile club. Both groups started promptly at 9:00am and headed off on separate trails.

Maeghan and Richard

With Richard leading the pack, Maeghan and I hung out near the back as we steadily climbed the gentle trail. The trails here are really just old ranch access roads that criss-cross the entire habitat area, their width providing plenty of room to pant and puff next to your hiking partners as you ascend each hill. It wasn't long before all the quick-footed hikers passed by the photo-happy Richard, thereby relegating him to the end of the pack to keep pace with a 13 year old girl. (Me? Oh, I only stayed behind with them because I was responsible for the girl. That, and I didn't want to see Richard’s hiker-guru reputation be deflated too much)

A teen with a dead cell phone

We had two catastrophic events occur immediately after the three of us were left in the wake of the other hikers: A teenage girl’s cell phone died and Richard had forgotten to start his gps. Oh, the humanity!!  Fortunately, the Lone Hiker (yours truly) is always prepared. I ensured Maeghan I would take plenty of pictures for her. And I had my gps going from the beginning, thus allowing me to provide Richard the additional numbers he so desperately needed to accurately keep track of his annual hiking mileage. Two major crises averted! Whew!

Hills and fog... just lovely

So the newly-formed team of Lone Hiker, Hiker Guru, and Phone-less Teenager joined powers to battle the evil forces of Foreboding Fog, Hellacious Hill, and Cramped Calf. In the end, we would only defeat the last two foes. The dreaded Foreboding Fog would be triumphant the entire day, as it utterly destroyed every view that we were certain had once existed. It was on top of one of these lifeless views that I had vowed revenge against the cursed Fog, that I would someday return; on a day when views are abundant, the air is warm, and Fog will have finally met it’s demise. Foreboding Fog, vengeance shall be mine!!

Wait.... are we in Ireland?...

Meanwhile, back in reality and far away from superhero land, we 3 mortal humans trudged onward. Up and down hills covered with, well, mostly fog. Visibility was reduced to a disappointing 50 yards. Being surrounded by cold fog on green grassy slopes, accompanied by a red-haired girl and a guy whose last name is O'Neill, I have now fulfilled my wish of visiting Ireland.

UFOs: Indisputable proof!!

During this strange, foggy journey through what will hopefully be known as my only view-deprived hike this year, we came across several curious sights: A path called Wrong Way Trail, a Grumpy Pond, and a few abandoned UFOs. Richard stated that the UFOs are actually water reservoirs that capture rain water and help keep the deer and other animals hydrated during the dry months.  Yeah, sure. Dry months in Oregon. It’s all part of the conspiracy!! Besides, I think I saw a strange-looking being near one of these so-called water reservoirs. Or was that Maeghan?... I’m not really sure…

The only sun we'd see all day

After a mom-packed snack of cherry tomatoes and apple slices, us 3 kids continued on the last push toward the end of this fog-filled exploit. After hearing about sore calves, knees, and several other appendages, we were momentarily distracted by a sight which we had not seen the entire hike: a hillside way across the valley, which was being dimly lit by the sun. This was just a tease of what lie in wait on my next visit to this area. We snapped a few pics and proceeded down the trail.

Must... find... phone charger...

Soon, we could see the North Umpqua River and North Bank road, signaling the end of the hike. As we walked the last few yards of what would be a 8.3 mile hike, I mentioned that I will have to do this hike again when the skies were clearer. Upon arrival at the parking lot, we learned that we were the last hikers to emerge from the fog that day, a fact which we didn't find at all surprising. I mean, with all the malfunctioning technology, the battle with Foreboding Fog, the aliens, etc., it really is a wonder we had made it out alive!!